Two sessions – over, out
The place is empty covered in grey dust
Street lamps can only be anticipated
A square full of nothingness
Usually I visit this place only to stand
On one of the famous stones where
Every national anniversary soldiers
Salute to the Chinese leader
Then I freeze, take a deep breath
And try very hard to image myself
In a different China in a different time
This time at the end of the two sessions
I can only see thick clouds of heavy smog
Even the many extra national flags seem grey
Looking from the outside at what might
Happen inside – for a brief moment I feel
Like everybody else in this country
Like any Chinese, reading the papers
Glimpsing at the national black box
- Now widely covered in haze -
Only interrupted by infinitely-looping
Projections showing the Chinese dream
I cannot follow this dream –
Watching the empty space
My moment of closure is gone
Still I remain outside
Beijing – second home
What difference does it make?
Every time coming back it just
Feels like a second home now
A home that keeps on growing;
If, yes, if we can see it
Haze – officially – is covering it
These days mostly
However, it is not haze –
It is grey dust that reveals the
Black&white story of this city
You can’t breathe, you can’t feel,
And you can’t believe that there
Are white clouds in the metro tunnels
How can this still be a second home?
It is indeed! Looking West – it shows me
What we mostly have already forgotten
Development – a better life – it always
Comes with a price and still many are
Willing to pay for it
But – do I hear criticism, do I hear complaints,
Do I listen to the people and understand
That they are not happy?
Waiting in the tunnels knowing that every
Breath probably kills my lungs like
Smoking several packs of cigarettes a day –
One question pops up: how long is this still bearable?
My second home – I still like it
I can already feel the pain growing in my chest
When I sit in the plane back home…
However, breathing definitely gets
Much easier turning West
Second home – you do make a difference!
March 2013
Copyright Nadine Godehardt